Everything is gonna be alright, baby………..

This is a conversation between a Dad and his child:
The train was about to leave the Chennai station. 5 year old Shyam was quietly playing with his Penguin toy that I bought him at the station. I made him sit on my lap and started playing with him. He looked up suddenly and said, ‘Daddy, when will we see Mommy?’.
‘Mommy will be at the Bangalore station, child. You are going to see her as soon as we reach bangalore’, his dad assured him. He gave a faint smile and got himself engaged in playing with his Penguin again.
‘Daddy, when will I see you again?’, he asked again looking up. My heart sank at the question. How was I going to explain to him that he was not going to see his parents together ever? His dad explained ‘You will come to see me during the summer, sweetu’ and his dad tried to look away, trying to escape the questions in his eyes . He held his dad’s hand tight and asked, ‘Why?. Why will you not be with me and Mommy in Bangalore?’.
‘Because Daddy and Mommy are not going to live together, child. But you as soon as the summer arrives, you will come to Daddy and we will spend time together. Daddy will take you to the park and you can play on the slides and swings. Daddy will bring you ice cream and chocolates. But first you must be a good boy and spend time with your Mommy.’, his dad said with a heavy heart, trying hard to keep his gaze into the uncertain eyes of the child.
‘Will Mommy come with me to see you then?’‘No child, Mommy will not see Daddy. You will come alone. Daddy and Mommy will not meet each other.’‘But why Daddy? Why?’
And a tear rolled down his left cheek. It has always been like this with him. It is always the left eye which gives way to his tears first. And he started sobbing then. Pressing his head against my chest and curling his little arms around me. I did not know how to comfort him . I did not have logical answers to his ‘Whys’. I did not know what went wrong. All I know is Shyam did not deserve this.
I held him tight. Trying to calm him sobbing. The deep humming of the train engine went on in the background.

life...

I have been reading this book called Uh-Oh- some observations from both sides of the refrigerator door (or something like that)..By Robert Fulghum and I can say that its one of the most influential books i have ever read... He doesnt preach, he doesnt just describe, he communicates and it hits you.. And all it has is just his experiences and observations about people and life.. I m not too much of a reviewer, so that s all I will say now . But it is a must read for everybody in the world, just to take time off for themselves and reflect on the life they have been living and not realizing they re alive... Well I guess you could say it was the same for me, but now I m getting there and still not living yet. Why? because I found that it is easier said than done and all along the mind plays so many tricks on us to get out of what it has to do even though it wants to do it and that feeling of dissatisfaction of not doing what you set out to do is one of the worst things on Planet Earth among the so many other mindless things that happen.. And unlike just hanging out in some sophisticate fish-market like a crowded coffee day, life gets filed with color sitting with a group of friends who have no judgements and strumming the guitar with some warm singing :) in a breezy terrace with a view of the Adyar River... or a game of chess with one of your old friends, a can of ginger beer nearby...Nothing betterFor exercise, I suggest some tree plantation wherever possible. I was feeling bad about having not done much work on account of my fear of butterflies this Saturday Morning in the backyard of a church...But I am happy I took time off and went and I will go again ,and again, till I feel I ve given my best and then do some more ...(and hopefully gotten rid of some more mindless fears)..after all what is to fear, death may come calling anytime and you dont wanna die thinking you were scared of butterflies..PS The pic is of me and Katya (my friend whos in Blore) at the tree plantation venue last week..I did more work then ...cause there were lesser butterflies..PPS I know you re laughing..but well its me and I m slowly getting over the fear I guess ..

love actually.......

For quite sometime now, I have been feeling that there is something shimmering, dancing and playing deep inside me that was just there...living..and if it ever came to live through me now, then I will have lived..But, there is something , some barrier that deeply sepaarates this part of me from showing up ...my mind ...and its logic, its vices, its negativity...and whenever I do meditation, some part, a teeny-weeny part of this barrier seems to break, and I am that shimmering something...smiling and ready to serve...where nothing can touch me..and soon the gap closes...But there is still a small hole left where the 'light' leaks through....And I am sure that I will find this light, that I will let it seep through me...all it needs is just time, intensity and authencity..like a burning torch that is pure...so pure, innocent and I am the fuel to the torch...and I am the torch

what more can I say........

We don't know where we're goingWe don't know where we ve beenWe can't feel the wind that's blowingbut only feel the unseenDeep inside the channels of ourheart, they say the divine dwellsforever since the divine houreven before, and even after the death knellsfor they say life journeys on foreverinto the eternity-shiftingthrough the veil beyond time,like the riverever the same, yet, tranforming, ever driftingon towards the mighty ocean and the deep seaI wonder how it came to beWho am i? To thee?Oh! I am you, you are me,ageless boughs of the holy treeIwish I could see...

Life.....can get so weird....

Life can get so weird..I guess that's why it s called life. Every experience brings something that deepens one further in a subtle way. It brings out that love you have for creation deep down under just a little bit, along with it polishes you, like a piece of coal down in the pressure filled underground, with each day as it just inches towards becoming a diamond for eternity. And there are catalysts to do speed up the process, like the kriya and meditation....and all the carbon has an equal probablility of being the diamond, with God's grace it might get picked. But the carbon or coal trapped there is as important as the diamond... Each of them plays its own role...But why are they there, those potenial diamonds, those half done diamonds, the coal....Underneath, they re all equal....they re the same...It doesnt matter, the only thing they can do is do the role they are present for.. But I wish to know. ...why am i here? I wish to see, hear, touch, feel, taste...be....the divine..and understand this world, its events.....the pain , pleasure..the cycle...why should i do my role... it just happens.....The divine!